After we lost Brooke, one of Clint's cousins pulled me aside and told me about her experience losing her six-month old baby to SIDS. She warned me that one day, when I thought I had recovered from the loss, I would be caught off-guard, and the loss would feel real all over again. She said that she was always prepared to cry on Mother's Day, the anniversary of birth and death dates, Memorial Day, etc., but every once in a while, something happened that she wasn't expecting.
Today was my day.
I don't know why, but ever since we moved here, Nicole has become obsessed with Brooke. She talks about her many times a day, every day. (She's even gone as far as to say that she wishes she were in Heaven so she could play with her sister.) When we meet new people, and they ask how many kids we have, I always say tell them three, but only for the sake of saving me from the huge headache of an explanation to a stranger who probably couldn't care less. However, Miss Factual Nicole corrects me in front of them and says, "Actually, we have four kids in our family: two girls and two boys." The strangers cock their heads to the side, and look at me puzzled, wondering which one of us is telling the truth. I finally told Nicole to quit telling people that, and that everyone we meet doesn't need to/want to know about Brooke. That made no sense to her at all, but she followed orders, which resulted in the situation below.
While waiting in the return line at Wal-mart, a young girl behind me started talking to Scotty. Like always, Scotty got all giddy and put on a smiling show. Normally it ends there, but this girl wanted to know the names of the kids, and she kept talking to them. After a few minutes, she said, "Wow, these boys are going to look like twins when they get older. And then there's your daughter. Poor thing doesn't have a sister."
Nicole looked at me, as if to ask permission to tell this uninformed girl all about her baby sister. I wanted to tell the girl myself, "Well, actually she does have a sister ..." but then I thought it would get too complicated. So I went home and cried instead.
